August 29 A DJ's Dream Job

I DJ'd the wedding of Sandy & Andrew tonight. The ceremony was held outside so they had these fans made up to keep cool. The other side had the wedding ceremony program printed out. I thought it was a great idea. Unfortunately most people didn't take one because it was barely 60 degrees with a 25 MPH wind. Now some brides would be upset about these conditions. Not Sandy. I've known her for about 10 years and I have never seen her upset. She always has a big smile on her face. The reception was a blast. The dance floor was packed all night (a DJ's wet dream). It didn't matter what type of song I played, dance, oldie, country, rock, hip hop...everyone young & old danced to it. I had a great time (another DJ wet dream come true). The party was going so strong that the bar was extended to midnight. Andrew had about 10 pizzas delivered around 10pm. There were still about 150-200 people there at midnight dancing to my standard last song, Marvin Gaye's 'Let's Get It On'. I wish Sandy & Andrew all the best as they begin their lives together. I have a feeling these two will do just fine together.

August 28 Chicago's Two Seasons

There is an old joke here in Chitown about our seasons. Chicago has 2 seasons, winter and construction. Like most jokes, there is some truth to it. The toll road has been under construction for the better part of the past 5 years, now they decided to add another lane. And since Obama started handing out TARP money like Pacman Jones at a strip club, most of the local roads are also under construction. Today I got stuck on the northbound I-294 toll road between 159th St and 127th St, approximately 6 miles, for 75 minutes. Welcome to construction season and when it's over we get winter.

August 27 Same Old Song And Dance

It has rained for two straight days. I can't take it anymore. The dark clouds, the non stop rain, the monkey butt, some call it swamp ass, caused by working all day with wet pants. My SADD has reached a critical point. I finally found a doctor, Conrad Murray, who swears he can provide some relief to me. Soon I'll have an IV drip loaded with Propofol. The good doctor says his last patient loved it.

August 26 The Old Lady In Charge

Fluffy is now older than any dog we've ever had, she is 11 years old. She has slowed down a little and when she first gets up she walks with a limp. But she still loves to go for a walk or a car ride. We got her in 2001, back then we had a shitty old couch and we let the dogs onto the couch. Then in 2005 we bought this couch and stopped letting the dogs onto the couch. We have always let the dogs onto the beds. A few years ago I even had my friend, Eric, build a little three step staircase so Fluff could get onto the king size bed upstairs. But Fluff doesn't use it much anymore. She has decided it is okay for her to sleep on the couch. At first she would jump off if she heard us coming. Then she would jump off when I yelled at her. Today she lifted her head, gave me a fuck you look and put her head back down. Now I have two ungrateful old ladies living in my house.

August 25 This Week's Douchebag

Welcome to a new feature for my blog. It is a work in progress, I hope you like it. Since the world is falling apart all around me, my head feels like it is going to explode on a daily basis. I get furious when I read about people who need to be removed, either from their elected office, their jobs or in some rare instances from my world. I don't know if it will be a weekly feature or not. It probably could be a daily feature. But for the love of God, please pay attention. We can no longer allow these people to continue abusing their positions at our expense. So the inaugural douchebag is Todd Stroger. If you really care, then read the Sun Times article. This is only one of about 50 corruption charge stories I've read about this piece of crap. Please help remove him from office, even if you do not live in the very corrupt Cook County. Thank you.

August 24 Forrest Gimp, The Fanook and the AIDS Patient

Forrest Gimp (Chrissy) was doing her rehab exercises when The Fanook (Oslo) and the AIDS Patient (Fluffy) decided to join her. I needed a blog picture since I've been behind all week. So here's a quick story. Chrissy is Forrest Gimp while rehabbing from her ALC surgery. Oslo is The Fanook because he just acts like one. Fluff has looked like an AIDS Patient ever since Chrissy shaved most of the matted fur off of her. And that concludes today's blog. Tune in again tomorrow. Same time, same Bat Channel.

August 23 Pearl Harbor Photos

I received this e-mail today.

PHOTOS STORED IN AN OLD BROWNIE CAMERA since 1941
Thought you might find these photos very interesting; what quality from 1941.Pearl Harbor photos found in an old Brownie stored in a foot locker. THESE PHOTOS ARE FROM A SAILOR WHO WAS ON THE USS QUAPAW ATF-11O. I THINK THEY'RE SPECTACULAR!PEARL HARBOR December 7th, 1941

As usual, I check with Snopes.com to verify the story. It turns out the pictures are real. The story is not true. The pictures are archival photos from the US Navy. Always double check the bullshit you read on the internet, especially this crappy blog.