The only reason for my visit to Miami was to spend time with my cousin Karen whose big smile is the same as my little brothers' and our grandfather's. My family says if you wanna spend a day with me you'd better be ready to eat, let's see if that's true. Our first stop was at the airport, I had to return my rental car. Our second stop was at a diner for breakfast, some eggs and pancakes. Nothing crazy about a little breakfast. Our third stop was the beach in Fort Lauderdale. Even though Chicago had the mildest winter I've ever lived through, I still wasn't prepared for the beach. It's tough to go from girls wearing jeans & jackets to string bikinis in one day but somehow I managed to adjust. Unfortunately, my white boy skin didn't. Karen said it was time to go when she heard my fat sizzling like bacon on a griddle. That was okay with me because even though the water was warm, there were no waves. But God did smile upon me. Now I know no one will believe this story but I swear it is 100% true. While sitting on the beach near the shoreline, two young women in bikinis too small for them if they were my daughters, luckily they were not, began to take pictures of each other with their cell phones. They took turns posing at the waterline. Then it got better, they started jumping up and down attempting to get a shot of themselves in the air. They had trouble timing it just right because this went on for almost a half hour. I'll admit I couldn't stop watching, but I wouldn't take pictures either...that would make me a pervert...LOL. My cousin did take pictures but hasn't sent them to me yet. I told her I have to keep watching...I don't have dreams this good. Finally I agreed to leave which was a good thing because as I would find out later the entire right side of my body was badly sunburned...it was still worth it. Our fourth stop was a New York style pizza place on the beach...only had one slice, it wasn't as good as I remembered it. We walked along the strip across from the beach. It was spring break so the bars were packed.
Here's some pictures taken along the beach.
Menage a Trois Chardonnay...must be a wine for three.
Karen was trying out a new camera so we both looked like tourists.
Our fifth stop was at Larry Flint's Hustler store...not really we drove by because Karen also has an unfortunate trait she shares with my brother, Jeff. She has no sense of direction...I mean none at all. She headed north from the beach to take me to an old fashion ice cream parlor (big surprise). She had to call her husband Ken in Minnesota to find out it was south of the beach. But we did drive by the Hustler store which made me wonder what kind of low life shops there. Then I thought probably the kind that watch young women jumping in bikinis for half an hour.
We finally made it to our sixth stop, Jaxson's and just in time. It had been 2 hours since that slice of pizza...I was about to faint from a lack of food.
Yes, that banana split sundae is as big as my steroid enhanced head. Somehow I ate the whole thing.
Karen, again flashing the big smile, had a sundae on top of a giant Belgium waffle. She didn't finish hers...quitter.
We picked up my Aunt Nora and....stopped for dinner at the Big Easy, our seventh stop. Since New Orleans is my next trip, this was perfect. I had a muffaletta sandwich since it had been only three hours since I ate a half gallon of ice cream. Then we stopped at a bar to see a friend of theirs band. They were a very good blues band and several people in the crowd joined the band to play guitar or harmonica or sing. It was a really good time and after midnight it was officially Saint Patrick's Day. So a toast and a beer was appropriate. That was my day with my cousin. I guess this blog will not repudiate my reputation as a lover of food...it was a fun day anyway.
