March 19 Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced

"So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
and i'm soaked and i'm soiled and brown

in the trousers,
She kissed me!
And I only bought her one round"

-'Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced'  by the Dropkick Murphys

I stopped drinking about 12:30am last night and started drinking at 10:30am this morning. After breakfast at the hotel where most of the group of about 30 were staying. We got on our rented bus to head to Camelback Ranch. No we weren't going to a rodeo, that is where the White Sox have spring training. My first spring training game and it is the Cubs vs. the White Sox. The bus we rented was a full city bus done up like a limousine. There was couch like seats along each wall, satellite TV and two stripper poles at each end of the bus. It was on the bus that the drinking began. It continued while standing in the hot Arizona sun watching the Cubs beat the crap out of my White Sox. More beer on the bus ride back to Tempe. A quick beer run to the Circle K to restock for an afternoon of drinking at the hotel pool. A short break to clean up then a very nice dinner at an upscale Mexican restaurant, where the mojitos & margaritas were poured very heavy. After dinner back to drinking beer on the sidewalk patio. It was here that things got strange. At the pool earlier in the day, some of the guys had a belly flop contest with two kids hanging out at the pool. Afterward they hung out in the hot tub. Those of us on the other side of the pool made the kind of jokes you'd expect to be made about grown men and little boys in a hot tub. Let's just say it was very derogatory toward our friends. Back to the sidewalk patio.You have to remember, this group is here for a bachelor party, 30 guys, no women. I was talking with Jason & Pat when I heard Mike say,"hey, there's the kids from the hot tub" several times. As Mike stands and waves to the kids, I look up and see the mom, who wasn't at the pool earlier, hurrying her kids past our group. I'm yelling at Mike to shut the fuck up, he keeps waving. I'm not positive, but I think I heard the mom asking her sons, "did those guys touch you anywhere?" It wasn't long after that we were asked to leave the upscale Mexican restaurant. Off to the Irish bar across the street, more beers and a crappy band. Even though I agreed with Jason that the lead singer/guitarist sucked, I advised him not to go on stage and kick his ass. A few rounds later, about 1:30am. I gave up and walked back to the hotel. Fifteen hours of drinking was enough for me.